How to Deal With Frustration and Bitterness

23 May, 2021

We all know people who are frustrated with or bitter about aspects of their lives. Sometimes, with life in general.

You know the type of person I mean. Someone who spends a lot of time nitpicking. Someone who spends a lot of time complaining about anything and anyone.

You might, from time to time, be one of those people.

You could be disappointed with something that happened in the past — a job you didn’t get, a school or course you didn’t get into, a relationship that failed. It could be an accumulation of things that haven’t gone well in your life.

There have been several times when the universe decided to squat down and defecate on my life. When that happened, I was bitter. I was angry. But I realized that the bitterness and anger weren’t making my life better. They weren’t making the situation better. In fact, that bitterness and anger were making things worse. Not just for me but for the people around me, too.

Instead of embracing your bitterness and frustration, you need to let go of it all. Here’s some advice which can help you do that.

Understand What’s in the Past is In the Past

Chances are, the catalyst of your frustration or bitterness is in the past. Maybe even far into the past. It’s dead. It’s gone.

Being bitter and frustrated won’t change what happened. It won’t change the past. Until you let go of your frustration and bitterness, your present won’t change. Worse, you won’t be able to plot your future. The cloak of the past will remain over you and stop you from moving forward.

Don’t Ask What Could Have Been Different

Who’s to say that if the turn of events you’re clinging to had occurred the way you wanted it to, that it would have turned out well? Would you be in a different career or place in life? Would that relationship be thriving now? Would that job have really been your dream job?

Maybe yes, maybe no. You’ll never know how things would have been different. It’s all a big if.

Think About How You Can Change Your Present and Future

You can’t change you past. You can, however, change your now. You can influence the course of your future. How? By taking action.

Make moves to change your life. You can enroll in a course that will help you get a better job. You can move to another city or another country, and try to establish a new life there. You can start exercising, reading more, writing, being socially active. You can try saving money to fund a dream. You can start a side hustle to do the type of work you want. The list goes on.

Find the path that you want to walk. And then …

Take the First Steps

Change doesn’t just happen. You need to make it happen. You need to start walking down that path you’ve chosen. Even if it’s just a couple of small steps, that’s all it takes to get started. I won’t lie to you: it can be a long and difficult journey. But the destination, one without the frustration and bitterness that plagues you, is worth making the effort for.

Whether or not you cling to your cloak of frustration and bitterness is up to you. Staying wrapped in that cloak is no way to live. Why not make a change that will improve your life, even if only in a small way?

Scott Nesbitt